A Sweet Refrain
by bluinary
Summary: A collection of stories featuring the many ways, the many worlds in which Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman can find love in one another. (my eremika one-shots. ratings range from K to M.)
1. Your Typical Infatuation

**Title:** Your Stereotypical Infatuation With The New Kid In School

 **Syn:** Eren the Jock tells shitty puns and obsesses over Mikasa the New Girl.

* * *

 **A black skirt.**

It brushed the backs of her knees as she walked, swishing and fluttering in the breeze. It was as neat and mesmerizing and jet-black as her hair, chin-length and even, bobbing against her jaw and falling in her face when her gaze turned downward. Her eyes scanned the note she'd gotten from the office, crisp and fresh from the printer.

Eren stared in awe from the fountain. He ran a hand through his damp hair and wiped his sweaty face on his sleeve, his eyes glued to her every move the entire time. He watched her legs take their even strides, her fingers comb her hair behind her ear, her eyebrows lower as she squinted at the paper in her hands.

"Damn," Connie muttered beside him. "Nice."

"More than nice," Eren breathed.

Connie turned to look at him. "What'd you say?"

"I said you smell like ass."

He grinned and slugged his teammate on the shoulder. "Not any worse than you. Take a shower for once, dude."

"I do, you soap-dodger."

"It's a form of art, Jaeger."

"Your smell is a form of art. It's called fart."

* * *

Mikasa Ackerman. From some private school in town. Straight-A student. Won more than a few medals, for various things. On the student council at her old school. A soccer, tennis, orchestra, choir, and wrestling legend. A likely candidate for prom queen.

Eren tried to take the rumors with a grain of salt, but they felt too perfectly surreal. They were as unbelievable as she was.

"You got eyes for her, dontcha?" Sasha asked with a wink. Her mouth was stuffed with Cheetos. She licked the dust off her fingers as he answered.

"She's pretty," he answered simply, knowing very well that that was an understatement.

"You'd make a cute couple," she encouraged. Eren snatched some of her Cheetos in reply.

"She's too good for me. Like, I'm a decent running back, but she's, like, top of our class, and the best in all these different sports, and she plays viola and sings, and on top of that she's that pretty. Too much. I'm not barking up that tree." He solemnly grabbed another cheeto, despite Sasha's silent protests. "Also," he added, "I think Cheetos look like really jacked up dicks. And that's fucking weird. Someone who thinks like that doesn't have any place gawking at that kind of perfection."

Sasha shrugged. "Whatever you say, man. Also, now that you mention it, I think I agree. About the Cheetos thing, I mean."

He nodded. "I'm the voice of the future, honestly."

"The voice of truth."

"Yeah, that."

* * *

Lunchtime. Eren sat alone by the window for the first ten minutes, irritated. Armin sure was taking his sweet time.

He'd already finished his lunch by the time the aforementioned best friend arrived. He was about to complain when he caught sight of their guest.

"This is Mikasa," Armin said. "She's new. Mikasa, this is Eren, my best friend. I apologize in advance."

Eren shot a sharp glare in Armin's direction before shaking hands with the living embodiment of perfection. She smiled politely at him, her full lips curling into a pretty shape, and took her seat.

"So Ar," Eren asked, "how'd you meet her?"

"Welcoming committee, remember?"

Eren mouthed an "oh" and turned to Mikasa. "So, uh….what do you do for fun?"

She shrugged. "I play sports and viola. What about you?"

"Football," he answered. She seemed bored. Of course she would be. Even he hated small talk like this.

"And terrible jokes," Armin sighed. "Once you get him started, he won't stop."

Eren grinned and took a bite of the bun on his plate. "I'm currently on a roll," he said.

Mikasa snorted. Eren's entire face lit up. Armin sagged into himself, thinking, _Oh god, not again._

"You know, Armin's not very appreciative of my talent," Eren mock-complained. "Every day, he's like, 'Eren, stop', and I'm like, dude." He gestured towards his mashed potatoes. "Why you potatin'."

Mikasa's snort turned into an actual burst of laughter. A thrill of energy scrambled around Eren's stomach.

"Please don't encourage him," Armin begged.

"You're just a potater," Eren dismissed. Mikasa covered her eyes with one hand. Her shoulders shook.

"This is funny to you?" Armin asked incredulously.

"It's just….so terrible…..god," she managed between guffaws. "Oh my god, those were so bad."

"Thank you," Eren said proudly. He showed off the small apple from his plate. "I apple-reciate it."

Mikasa burst into laughter again. Armin buried his head in his arms.

"I could've graduated two years ago," he whispered. "I could've done it. And all of this would've been nothing more than a bad dream."

* * *

 _Things I know for sure about Mikasa Ackerman:_

 _1\. She plays the viola_

 _2\. She plays sports_

 _3\. She loves shitty puns_

 _4\. She's even prettier up close_

* * *

Eren spent the next week lost in his infatuation. He asked Armin about her all the time, doodled crappy pictures of her in his notebooks, made lists of things about her, like what she was wearing or what kind of music she liked to listen to.

He was still convinced she was too good for him, but that didn't change how he was feeling. And he was feeling, if he had to describe it with words, warm and blooming. Energetic. Excited. Flushed. Like he was the personification of the color orange.

And to him, she was as enigmatic and beautiful as a rainbow.

* * *

 **A/N: Yes, a fucking rainbow bc Eren is a small child with overwhelming feelings and he must be protected.**

 **And yes, that's it bc I know nothing of short stories and I'm tired and these feels. They are satisfied for the tim ebeing**


	2. Just Another Night

**Title:** Just Another Night

 **Syn:** Eren can't sleep. Things will be fine in the morning, but they aren't fine right now.

* * *

 **He can't do it.**

Eren can't sleep alone. When he tries, everything is out to get him. The sighs of the wind outside, the strange tickling at his legs, whatever might be hiding in the darkness. His own creaks make him stiffen with anxiety.

 _I am alone,_ he thinks, clutching at his covers. He stops breathing. _I am going to die._

There is a sound. His eyes dart to the door.

 _I'm going to die._

 _I'm going to die._

 _I'm dead_

 _I'm dead_

 _I don't want to die_

"…Eren?" someone whispers.

As he is brought to reality, Eren shudders. His eyes well up. His ears burn.

It's just her.

Mikasa hurries into the bed, holding him. He struggles to take even breaths.

"Couldn't sleep," she murmurs. He shakes in her arms.

"God," he exhales, "god. You're here."

"I'm here."

"We're okay."

"Yes, Eren, we're okay. You're safe."

He buries his face into her shoulder. His sobs are muffled against her skin, but they make themselves known, racking throughout his torso and hiccuping against hers. His tears pool onto her collarbone.

"I'm…I…..we….th-they…..Mikasa, I…..I don't even know if I'll get to see tomorrow," he manages between sobs. "I- I don't know if Armin's okay or whether you're alive or if they've found us or…. _god._ I'm _so scared_."

She strokes the back of his neck and curls into him, kissing his temple. He tries his best to slow his breathing, focusing on how tight her embrace is.

"We're okay," she tells him. "We're alive, we're okay, Armin's okay, I'm okay, you're safe. No one's going to hurt us. It's fine."

Though he doesn't quite believe her, his breathing, eventually, slows. Exhausted, he falls asleep. Mikasa joins him soon after.

* * *

Eren wakes, the sun shining in his eyes.

He is alone. And for now, he is fine.

Someone knocks on his door. It's a rather annoyed-looking Jean.

"Eren! Get your privileged ass up and about. We've got work to do."

Eren makes a face. "Privileged?" he repeats groggily.

Jean rolls his eyes. "Yeah, _privileged_. Sleeping in while the rest of us bust our asses. I mean, if your girlfriend can wake at the crack of dawn the morning after, you should be able to."

 _That_ wakes him up. "What?! We didn't- she's not- you _know-_ "

"I know you guys share a bed. If you have explanations, save 'em. I honestly don't care. Just move your ass, or the Captain'll have it."

Jean leaves. Eren groans and rubs his gummy eyes.

 _I mean, he's not really wrong,_ he thinks absently, throwing his covers from his legs. _But fuck him anyway._

And with that, Eren begins a new day.

* * *

 **AN:** **I'm really sorry but I wrote this and I wanted to share it and I know it's absolute shit, but here it is. Hope you liked it.**


	3. What Armin Does On Sunday Nights

**Title:** Just About As Disturbing As What Armin Does On Sunday Nights

 **Syn:** Mikasa loves Eren. And she loves her shrine to Eren. Eren is less than pleased.

* * *

 **She loved him.**

Mikasa Ackerman loved Eren Jaeger with all of her heart. She loved his eyes, his lips, his hair, his nose, his arms, his shape, his hands. She loved when he was happy, angry, goofy, arrogant, loopy, serious, melodramatic, and incredulous. She loved his voice and his speech patterns. She loved his expressions and gestures. She loved his ideas and his ethics. She loved Eren Jaeger and everything he was made of, so much so that she could explode.

And that's why, in her closet, she kept a shrine to him. Creepy, she knew, but she just couldn't help herself. It lightened her mood when she was upset or disgruntled. All she had to do was read the notes he'd passed her, or run her fingers along the bite marks in his old pencils, or smell the shirt he'd once lent her, and a warm smile would come to her face.

 _Be strong and mature,_ she'd tell herself. _For Eren._

 _Also, he can never find out about this. Like, ever._

* * *

He found out about it.

They were doing homework at her house. Mikasa rose from her seat, saying she needed to grab her calculator. After a minute of boredom, Eren decided to follow after her.

"Miks!" he called. No answer. Maybe she was in her room?

He knocked first. Again, no answer. Cautiously, he opened the door. She'd never let him in her room before.

It was a nice, tidy place, with minimal decor. Her bed was made, her books lined up neatly on their shelves. Her dumbbell set sat to the left of her desk, seemingly out of place in the somewhat feminine atmosphere. Eren took it all in, just thinking about how much it suited her.

He continued towards the closet, feeling nosy and intrusive, but still wildly curious, nonetheless. And he opened the door. And he stiffened.

"…Mikasa?!" he called.

She was by his side shortly. As soon as she'd seen him in her room, she'd gone pale.

"Y-yeah?" she stammered.

"What the fuck is this?!" He gestured towards the shrine, his eyes wide and bewildered.

She was sweating bullets. "I- I- I- I can explain, Eren, I-"

"Is this a shrine or some shit?! What the fuck?! Are the my chewed-up pencils? Why the fuck do you even have these?!"

Mikasa went dead silent and began to back away. Eren stared at her in shock.

"Are you…..do you, like, have a thing for me?"

She froze.

And then exploded, just as she'd always thought she might.

"Yes! I do, actually! I, Mikasa Cynthia Ackerman, am in love with you, Eren James Jaeger! You are what gets me up in the morning, what keeps me together, what reminds me to stay positive! Because I love you! I love your passion and your blunt nature and how you're an irresistible object in any given situation! I love how you look and how you act and talk and what you say! Every day I stare at your mouth because I can only imagine what it might feel like to kiss you. When we walk side-by-side, I always reach for your hand, but I can't ever seem to grab it without tripping over myself and ruining everything! And every single night, before I go to sleep, I think about how I might work up my courage and ask you out, and I never do it because I'm scared you'll freak out and leave me, and then I'll have nothing, Eren. _Nothing_. God, I love you so much it's insane! And I've had to keep my mouth shut about it for so long!"

Eren blinked at her. Her face was bright red, her hair mussed from her ruffling it in frustration.

"….oh," he said.

She laughed the kind of laugh angry teachers have, tossing her hands and staring at the ceiling. "'Oh', he says." She looked back down at him. "I pour all of that out, and that's all you have to say? 'Oh'?"

He sighed and took a seat on her bed. "….Well, what do you want me to do? Because I honestly have no fucking clue what I'm supposed to do, here."

She tossed her hands again. "Be scared! Call me crazy! Run away! I don't know, something! Don't just sit there!"

Obediently, he rose. And walked toward her and grabbed her chin. And kissed her.

Startled, Mikasa backed away. "What- what are you doing?"

He shrugged. "What I think I want, I guess."

"But the creepy shrine…."

"Okay, yeah, here's the deal. If we're gonna go out, you're not doing any of that shit. Comprende?"

"Going out?! But you-"

"Hey," he said, shaking his head. "Miks, I've known you for five years, now. If you were really insane, I'd have picked up on it by now. And besides that, we all do creepy shit sometimes. For example, do you know what Armin does on Sunday nights?"

"…homework?"

"Nope. He leaves the group chat because he goes to enact battle strategies with his army guys."

"That's not really that weird."

"Until he sets the losing team on fire and laughs as their miniature faces melt, and then sends me videos. He likes to imagine the losing team is made up of everyone he hates."

"…oh."

"Hell, I do creepy shit, too. Just ask Armin about any dissection lab he's partnered up with me for. I find satisfaction in cutting animals' flesh open. Fucked up, right?"

"…yeah, kind of."

Eren offered a lopsided smile. "Just about as fucked up as a shrine of someone you know. But while I mention that, again, that shit won't fly if we're gonna be dating. Like, sorry since I kind of overreacted earlier, but that's some Future Diary shit, Mikasa."

Mikasa met his gaze. "Wait. So….you're asking me out?"

"Only if you accept the terms and conditions."

"I accept," she assured him, a smile finding its way to her lips. "You sure this is what you want?"

He shrugged. "Honestly, Miks, I don't know what I want. But I do know that you're one of my best friends in the world, you're a good person, you're hella smart, you're always there for me, and I do, in fact, want to kiss you right now."

And he did. And she guided them out of the closet to make it less awkward. And, once he'd left, she dutifully destroyed the creepy shrine.

But she kept that shirt tho.

* * *

 **A/N: WHAT THE FUCK HOW THE FUCK DID I FINISH A FUCKING ONE-SHOT WHOA I AM SO PRODUCTIVE TODAY DAMN**

 **also yeah IM SORRY IM A SUCKER FOR HAPPY ENDINGS PLS FORGIVE ME**


	4. Concerning Patients Jaeger And Ackerman

**Title:** Concerning the Relationship of Patients Jaeger and Ackerman

 **Syn:** Mikasa is miserable and scarred and full of self-hatred. And Eren might as well be dead.

(TW: suicide, self-harm, anorexia, mental insitution)

* * *

 _Wednesday, January 29_

 _3:07 A.M._

 _Patient Mikasa Cynthia Ackerman is hysterical. She has vomited twice. She is screaming. She is banging her head on the wall. She begs for her razor. She is begging no one. She did not take her medication. She will fall asleep at 4:00 A.M._

* * *

 _6:30 A.M._

 _Patient Eren James Jaeger has not moved for two hours, despite being awake. He is pale. He is thirsty. He is hungry. His dinner is untouched. He is staring at the wall. He will get in trouble for refusing to_ _eat_ _at 8:00 A.M._

* * *

 _12:00 P.M._

 _Patients Eren J. Jaeger and Mikasa C. Ackerman are paired up for their group therapy session. At first, he does not speak. And she does not speak. He brushes his finger along the scars on her arm. She trembles. They finally talk. Here is a transcription of their dialogue:_

 _Jaeger: Assisted suicide. My mom died before._

 _Ackerman: Attempted suicide. My mom and dad died before._

 _Jaeger: You're a cutter._

 _Ackerman: Yeah._

 _Jaeger: Doesn't it hurt?_

 _Ackerman: Yeah. I like it._

 _Jaeger: I get it. I don't eat._

 _Ackerman: You're fucked up._

 _Jaeger: So are you. I heard you screaming._

 _Ackerman: I saw them dragging you out of_ _your_ _room._

 _Jaeger: Yeah. I yelled before. I don't wanna be here._

 _Ackerman: Me neither._

 _Jaeger: What if I die here?_

 _Ackerman: I feel insane being here._

 _Jaeger: Me, too._

 _Ackerman: But I am insane._

 _Jaeger: Me, too._

 _Jaeger: Your scars ruin your skin. It's pretty. You're pretty._

 _Ackerman: Thank you._

 _Jaeger: I like you._

 _Ackerman: No, you don't. You don't know me._

 _Jaeger: But I like who I think you are._

 _Ackerman: That makes me happy. Thanks._

 _Staff: Okay, now turn back to me._

 _As the staff guides the group, Eren J. Jaeger shifts his chair so he sits shoulder-to-shoulder with Mikasa C. Ackerman. He holds her hand. She does not push him away._

 _During lunch, he will report that he does not feel as "dead" as usual._

* * *

 _Friday, March 19_

 _8:00 A.M._

 _Patient Eren J. Jaeger spends his time with patient Mikasa C. Ackerman. He displays heavy affection for her, despite not having known her long. She reciprocates, but never instigates._

 _He kisses her every morning, midday, and night. She does not resist._

 _He holds her hand whenever they are together. She does not resist._

 _She tells him to eat. Gradually, he has been_ _eating_ _more and more since she began to do so._

 _He tells her he likes her every day. She objects, but has gradually done so less and less._

 _He has smiled at least five times in the past week. She has smiled three times._

 _Dr. Smith has suggested that Eren has chosen Mikasa as a person to love, as a way to cope with the trauma his father pushed upon him. Mikasa may choose to fully reciprocate someday, as he is her own coping_ _device_ _, but for now, she is being careful. They have been permitted to stay by one another's side all day, but it is a privilege. They must_ _abide_ _by the rules, or this privilege will be taken from them._

 _Nonetheless, Smith believes they may be the key to one another's recovery._

 _In five years, on September 22nd, he will be proven right._


	5. He Was Dragging His Ass

**Title:** He Was Dragging His Ass (What A Fine Ass It Was)

 **Syn:** During every single passing period of every single day, Mikasa ends up behind the slowest shitbag in school. She's sick of it.

(Slightly OOC Mikasa in this one. She's much angrier than I think she's canonically capable of being.)

* * *

 **The bell rang, and Mikasa was out the door.**

She'd gathered her things a whole ten minutes before the bell rang, matching Mr. Shardis's death glare with one of her own. She'd chosen a seat close to the door. Hell, she'd even changed into her gym clothes the period before, her tennis shoes laced tightly around her feet as she tore down the hallway. She would be in her next class in no time. There was no way he could block her off.

The hall became crowded. Mikasa shoved her peers out of the way, ignoring their complaints.

One more turn. One more turn and she was home free. She would have gone an entire passing period without staring at his back, her feet shuffling behind his. And then, to celebrate, she would have gotten herself some ice cream after school. The day would have been her best in an entire month. Balance would have been restored to the universe, probably. All wars would have ended. Cancer would have been cured. Bagels and cream cheese would finally have stopped being sold in uneven quantities. Everything would have been perfect.

But it was not to be.

Mikasa slammed face-first into a familiar-smelling varsity jacket. She stumbled backward, almost falling onto a classmate, stepping on another's shoe.

Their outcries and concerned inquiries were all muted, drowned out by the sight of that varsity jacket, choked down by the bubble of rage expanding from Mikasa's stomach and out of her mouth.

Her eyes could see nothing but a single word, etched in blocky script on leather.

" _JAEGER!_ "

The crowd of kids parted, watching fearfully. Mikasa knew her face was red. She was angry. She was fucking furious, actually.

The figure in front of her turned, pulling out an , his strong features twisted with confusion and fear.

"What'd I do?" he asked.

Mikasa shoved an accusing finger in his face. " _Every. Day. Every single fucking day since this semester started, you have made me late._ To all of my classes. Every single one. I've shouted at you to move, but you never heard me! I tried to move past you, but the crowd was too thick! I fucking kicked you in the ass once, and you just smirked at me like I was flirting!"

His frown deepened. "You weren't flirting?"

Mikasa's eyes were uncharacteristically wild, bulging from her face as though they were trying to squeeze themselves out.

" _NO! I WAS NOT!_ Tell me, Mr. Jaeger, WHO THE FUCK FLIRTS BY _KICKING SOMEONE IN THE ASS_?!"

He shrugged innocently. "I mean, I do it."

"He does!" shouted a girl across the hallway.

"Shut the fuck up, Hanna!" Mikasa called back.

The Jaeger boy blinked in Hanna's direction, and then turned back to Mikasa. "Look, I'm sorry. I'll be sure to stay out of your way from now on. Sound good?"

As a matter of fact, it did. But Mikasa was so filled with unholy rage, nothing as peaceful as reasonable resolution would sit well with her. She wanted blood, confrontation, anger.

She wanted to fight.

"No!" she shouted. "Fight me!"

The crowd inhaled collectively, some covering their mouths, some digging for their phones.

The boy's brow furrowed. "What? You want to….fight?"

Mikasa dropped her backpack. Adrenaline rushed through her system. She knew she was being unbelievably stupid at the moment, but _GOD_. SHE WAS _SO FUCKING MAD!_

"YEAH I WANNA FIGHT," she barked. "FOR TWO WHOLE WEEKS, JAEGER, YOU'VE DRAGGED YOUR ASS. NOW IM MORE THAN READY TO DESTROY IT."

Without warning, Mikasa swung at the Jaeger boy's throat. Shocked, he scrambled backwards, losing his balance. He reached for Mikasa's outstretched fist as an anchor, but only ended up dragging her down with him as he fell on his ass in front of a good number of fellow students.

Mikasa's nose crashed on the boy's jaw. She yelped and covered her face, tears springing to her eyes. Blood began to stream over her lips.

"Oh shit!" the boy said in alarm. "Holy shit, are you okay?!"

"What's going on here?" asked a teacher. Mikasa looked up. Ms. Ral stood above them.

"Mikasa," she gasped, "are you okay?"

More teachers arrived around them, shooing students to their classrooms. Mikasa pushed herself off of the Jaeger boy, stood, and nodded.

"Thank god," Ms. Ral exhaled, offering the Jaeger boy a hand. He took it, groaning as he stood.

"I- I'm sorry," Mikasa, who had finally come to her senses, stammered. Her cheeks burned, this time with unbearable embarrassment. With her head lowered, she grabbed her things and hurried to her next class.

"Lover's spat?" Ms. Ral asked with a knowing smile.

The boy made a grotesque face. "Why would you- nevermind. Sure. Lover's spat."

"I knew it," Ms. Ral laughed. "Girls are complicated, Eren. And weird. So don't feel bad if weird things happen, okay?"

"….Right. See you, Ms. Ral."

"Bye, Eren."

As Eren headed to his classroom, he realized he was having some very strong feelings in reaction to the whole affair. And he guessed he wouldn't exactly call those feelings bad.

* * *

The next day, for the entirety of the first passing period, Mikasa did not see a varsity jacket. She arrived to class early, marveling at how it felt to be in a room with only two people in it. Her teacher offered a curt "good morning" before returning to work.

And then he came in.

He took a seat in front of her, straddling the chair and folding his arms atop her desk. He grinned a terribly charming grin and pulled something from his pocket.

"I think we've gotten off of the wrong foot," he said. "Don't you agree?"

Slowly, Mikasa nodded. She had honestly never expected to hear from him again, especially after the tantrum she'd thrown.

"Good. Then firstly, I think I should introduce myself. I'm Eren." He held out his hand.

She shook it gently. "Mikasa."

He put something cold between their hands. An ice pack. Mikasa started at the feel of it against her skin.

"Wh-why-"

"For your nose. I'm sure it aches still. Sorry it busted yesterday. That was my bad."

She stared at him, dumbfounded. He smiled in return, reminiscent of a handsome, stupid puppy.

"Oh- here." Eren put his hand around hers, guiding the ice pack to her nose. "You gotta press these a certain way for them to work."

"I- I got it," Mikasa stammered, pressing it herself. He released her hand.

"Good. So before class starts, I'd like to know a bit about you."

"Me?" Mikasa could've sworn she was dreaming. This was absolutely surreal.

"Yeah, you. I kinda wanna be friends, y'know? You seem pretty cool. The way you just spoke your mind like that- sorry, pun alert- it speaks to me."

A strange, incredulous giggled escaped through Mikasa's teeth. "That was…pretty terrible," she told him.

He grinned. "Good. I specialize in shitty humor. But yeah, what are you into? I'm curious. Are you, like a straight-A student, a choir girl, a jock, what?"

"I'm into soccer," she answered. "Varsity."

"Now we're getting somewhere!" he cheered. "Anything else?"

Mikasa shrugged. "I like movies from the eighties," she offered. "And I babysit for money. What about you?"

"Three things," he answered, holding up three fingers. He folded one for every item on his list.

"Number one. I'm in varsity football. Number two. I'm obsessed with Fallout Boy. And number three- here's my personal favorite, it's a more recent interest- I'm into this thing. It's pretty cool, nice to look at, it's got it's flaws, but so does everything, y'know? I think it's spelled, like…..Y-O-U?"

Mikasa couldn't help it. A huge, reluctant smile spread across her face.

"I know you've had to watch my ass as I dragged it around in front of you," he continued, smug, "and I'm sorry. But maybe you could let it work for you now?"

The bell rang. The classroom had filled up. A kid waited patiently in the back of the room for Eren to move from his seat. The teacher was finishing up their last sip of coffee.

Mikasa scribbled down her number and slid it to Eren. He pumped his fist in celebration and winked at her suggestively before exiting the room.

All Mikasa could think was, _I almost beat the shit out of him_.

* * *

 **AN: SHITTING OUT EREMIKA ONE-SHOTS LIKE I HAVE ATTRACTIVE, CUTE, BEAUTIFUL DIARRHEA**

 **AN (PS): IM VERY SORRY FOR THAT ANALOGY**

 **AN (PPS): NO IM NOT IT WAS FANTASTIC**


	6. Adventures In Parenthood

**Title:** Adventures In Parenthood

 **Syn:** Neither of them planned to have a kid, let alone a noisy little girl, but neither Eren nor Mikasa can say they're displeased with these circumstances.

* * *

 **-9 months**

Mikasa's entire body stiffened.

Positive.

Quickly, she searched her bag for another test, chugging another gulp of water from her bottle.

She waited a few minutes, and then tested again.

Positive.

She blinked at the little symbol, unsure of how to feel. And that's when it hit her.

A family of my own, she thought. A warm softness invaded her chest and throat. I'm going to be a mother.

A huge grin took over her face, accompanied by giddy chuckles and the energy of a four-year-old. She pulled up her pants, washed her hands, and skipped out the door, grabbing her phone from her bed.

"Hey, you."

"Eren."

"Uh, yeah?"

"Where are you right now?"

"On my way home. Why, is something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine. Better than fine. I'll tell you when you get here."

"Oh. Okay, then. Talk to you soon. Love you."

"Love you too."

He hung up the phone. Mikasa stationed the trash can next to her as she took a seat in the living room.

After some fiddling with the lock and key, Eren marched through the front door, trying to hide his grin because it made him feel stupid.

"Honey, I'm home," he announced humorously, as he did every day, regardless of whether or not he'd been to work.

"I'm right here," Mikasa answered. "Have a seat next to me."

He snorted, lifting an eyebrow. "Okay? What's this about?"

Mikasa took hold of his hands. Eren was completely dazzled by her brilliant smile; he found himself breathless as soon as he'd met her eyes.

"I'm pregnant, Eren. You're going to be a father."

She watched the range of emotions flash across his face, practically reading his mind.

 _Oh shit, do we have the money for that?_

 _Wait. I'm gonna be a dad._

 _Holy shit._

 _Mikasa's going to be the mother of my children!_

 _Holy shit!_

 _There are gonna be little kids with my last name running around the house! And they'll be my kids! I'm gonna be a dad!_

He trapped Mikasa in a bone-crushing hug, laughing.

"Miks! We're gonna be parents!"

"You're going to be a dad!"

"You're going to be a mom!"

"Oh my god!"

"What do you think they'll look like?"

He pulled away and looked her in the eyes again. "Doesn't matter, Mikasa. It doesn't matter, not one bit, because they'll be our kid, and we'll love them so much. If it's a boy, cool. If it's a girl, good! If they're genderless, good for them! If they come out looking like Armin- actually, wait, that would have some bad implications, but you know what I mean. I don't care if they're transgender, whether they end up liking dick, the opposite of dick, or nothing, if they look like you, or me, or both of us, or neither of us, if they haveADHD or OCD or schizophrenia or Down Syndrome, or if they have a third eye smack dab in the middle of their forehead! I really don't, Mikasa! I'm so ready for this. I'm so ready to be a dad and show my kid how much I love them."

Tears had sprung to Eren's eyes. Mikasa looked on adoringly, cupping his cheek with her hand and smiling.

"I'm ready, too," she said. "And I'm so glad it's you I'm partners with. I'm so glad you'll be their father, Eren."

"And you're gonna be such a great mom, Miks," he said, his voice thick. "I can't- our kid's not gonna know what hit 'em. Their going to be smothered in love, damn it. Fucking drowned in it."

"Crushed!" Mikasa added.

"Blown away!" Eren laughed.

"Smitten!"

"Overwhelmed!"

"Kicked in the crotch with it!"

"Asphyxiated with it!"

"He'll need to see your dad after I'm through with him!"

"Not if I don't get to him first!"

Their words dissolved into a fit of laughter. Eren fell on Mikasa's shoulder, giggling, "The fuck is wrong with us?"

"We're going to be parents, Eren!"

"Oh, this is so great. Hey, call Armin!"

Mikasa obliged. Armin answered his phone groggily, as though they'd just woken him from a nap.

"Yeah?"

"Ar, you're not gonna believe this," Eren said excitedly.

Armin sighed, most likely assuming they were pranking him. "What am I not going to believe, Eren?"

"Mikasa's pregnant!"

There was a high-pitched screaming on the other end of the line.

* * *

 **1 hour**

Her name was Carla.

Carla Cynthia Jaeger.

She was near-bald, and her eyes were squeezed shut, her lips puckered in a pout as her parents looked on adoringly.

"Your eyes," her mother said. There was a tender softness in her voice that Carla's father had only ever heard a few times.

"They aren't open," he replied, trying his hardest to match her low volume.

"But look." She brushed her finger just below Carla's lashes. There was a deep crease in her skin, as though she were sleep-deprived. "And the corners turn up, like yours."

"Okay, now you look." He was fighting a smile. "Your lips. Your eyelashes, too. And she's making a Mikasa face."

Her face twisted, incredulous. "No, she isn't."

He stifled a laugh. "You're doing it right now. Your eyes get all squinty and your mouth gets all wrinkled. Also, she's got your nose."

"No, she doesn't. That's your mom's nose."

"Oh, yeah. You're right."

"Of course I am."

"I hope she inherits your humble mentality."

"And I hope she inherits your stubbornness."

Carla's father frowned. "Don't jinx it. Please don't."

Her mother laughed. "Can't take a dose of your own medicine?"

"No. I mean, have you seen me?"

Carla's parents turned back to her, snorting.

With a soft sigh, Carla opened her eyes and looked at her mother and father for the first time.

"Oh, your father woke you, didn't he?" her mother cooed, adjusting her blanket. "He's obnoxious by nature, and very sorry, aren't you, Daddy?"

"Daddy?" her father repeated, slightly amused. "So I'm Daddy now?"

"Carla's waiting for you to answer, Daddy."

Daddy rolled his eyes and proceeded to kiss his daughter's forehead, as lightly as he could. "I'm very sorry, sweetheart. But I'm glad we can see your eyes, now. What do you think of us, huh? Is Daddy as mean-looking as you imagined him? Is Mommy as gorgeous? Who do you like better right now?"

As Mommy rolled her eyes and fought a smile, Daddy put his finger in Carla's hand. She held onto it tightly. Daddy grinned.

"I'm the winner," he declared. "She may have your eye color, but I'm Father of the Year, so ha."

Mommy sighed with exasperation. "That's not her eye color; most babies with European blood are born with grey eyes. And you and I both know it's going to take a lot more than that to win this competition."

Daddy smirked at Mommy. "Challenge accepted."

* * *

 **1 week**

The _screaming._

Neither Eren nor Mikasa were prepared for it. Neither one of them knew what to do about it. Neither one of them were getting enough sleep.

Carla screeched. Eren bolted upward, looking as though he'd just been tasered. His hair stood up in all directions; his arms twitched; his eyes were bloodshot and wide.

"Oh my god," he breathed. He stood. "Miks. Mikasa, it's your turn next."

"It's been my turn for three hours," Mikasa muttered into the pillow.

"I'm gonna throw up," he groaned. The noise grew louder as he approached the nursery. He peered into Carla's crib. Her face was so red.

"Hey," he crooned, scooping her up and bouncing her in his arms. She stopped crying and stared at him, looking as shaken as he had a few moments ago. "Hey, what's wrong? You hungry, sweetheart?"

"She ate an hour ago," Mikasa called from the bedroom.

Eren fake-pouted at his daughter, noting once again how much his head hurt. He was too goddamn young to need aspirin this fucking often.

"You just made up some shit for attention?" he asked gently, holding her close to him. "I'm very annoyed with you, sweetheart. But you don't know any better, huh? It's okay. When I'm an old man and you have to change my diapers, it'll all be worth it."

Carla whimpered; Eren's stomach lurched in response.

Despite himself, he grinned and nuzzled her nose. "You're lucky you're a cute little shit," he said.

"Don' call my daughter a little shit," Mikasa said groggily.

"She takes after her father," Eren quipped back, the exhaustion seeping back into his voice. "Hey, I'll rock her to sleep. You get some rest while she's quiet."

"Kay. Thanks. Love you."

"Mm-hm."

The next morning, Mikasa woke to find him asleep on the ground, his back propped against the wall, Carla snoring lightly in the crook of his elbow.

* * *

 **1 year**

Everyone came to her first birthday party. Not because Eren or Mikasa or even Armin had invited them, but because their circle of friends was, unfortunately, made of people who didn't quite know how to keep their nose out of things.

First to arrive were Ymir and Krista, the shorter of the the two tucked into the taller's side, both grinning devilishly.

"We heard a little squirt's turning one today," Ymir said. "We got gifts."

Mikasa frowned at them, but took a step back to invite them in, nonetheless. They hurried inside, Krista singing, "The favorite aunts are here!"

"Excuse me, I believe I'm the favorite aunt," someone else said. Mikasa turned just as Sasha skipped across the threshold. She offered her a quick, but firm, hug before following after the other guests.

"Where's the tot?" she asked.

Mikasa, after checking to be sure no one else was coming, closed the door and started up the stairs. "Asleep in the nursery," she said. "Hold on just a second. Make yourselves at home."

She rapped her fist against the master bedroom door. "Eren," she called. "Eren, wake up."

"Ahh?"

"Ymir, Krista, Sasha, and god knows who else want to celebrate Carla's birthday."

"What?"

"People are coming over to celebrate Carla's birthday!"

"Oh, shit! Really?!"  
"Yes, really, and watch your mouth. Come out and entertain them. I'll wake the baby."

"Okay, but hold on. Where are my pants?!"

"Under the bed, where I told you to get them out from earlier this week."

"Kay, thanks."

After a few seconds, Eren hopped out of the door, adjusting his shirt. His infamous bed head had made a comeback from earlier in the day, and it was obvious he hadn't shaved. Nevertheless, he gave his wife a quick peck on the cheek and sprinted down the stairs in his gym clothes and flip flops, ready to entertain.

"Ew," Mikasa heard someone downstairs say. "I asked to see a cute baby, not a grungy old man."

"Nice to see you, too," Eren replied. "Want some water?"

Mikasa was out of earshot before any one of the guests could reply. She woke Carla and bounced her in her arms as she hiked back down the stairs. The doorbell rang a few times in between.

"Da!" Carla squealed, pointing at the door.

Mikasa smiled. "That's right, someone's at the door! Who could it be?"

"MMMMMMMMba!"

Eren opened the door before Mikasa could reach it. He was met with Jean's harsh fingers digging into his shoulders, shaking him back and forth.

"Your literal firstborn has her first goddamn birthday, and you tell no one?!" he exclaimed. "That's beyond stupid, that's just plain _rude_ , Jaeger."

"I hate to agree, but I do," Marco chimed from behind him. He peered over their little scene to grin at Mikasa and the baby. "Hey, Mikasa! Hey, Carla! Your Uncle Marco's here!"

Jean stopped shaking Eren. He dug his hands into his pockets, averting his eyes. "Also, uh, Levi's coming. Just so you know."

Now it was Eren's turn to grab Jean's shoulders. "You invited Levi?!"

"I m- it- it- it was Marco's idea!" Jean stammered.

Eren's sharp gaze snapped to Marco, who grinned sheepishly.

"I mean…..we brought presents, too….."

He was met with an accusing finger shoved in his face.

Eren's voice reminded him of the sound of a knife whetting on a wheel.

"I want you two to wash my dishes, vacuum my living room, and wipe any goddamn surface you can see. Is that clear?"

"Sir!" Marco and Jean chorused.

"Supplies are in the closet in the dining room. Hop to it, or Carla's never going to know she even had an Uncle Jean and Marco."

They obliged. Eren sprinted back up the stairs, muttering curses under his breath the whole way.

"Where are you going?" Mikasa called.

"To get dressed!" Eren shouted back. "Now that Levi's coming, I think you should, too, once I'm done!"

"I'm not scared of him," Mikasa snorted, more to Carla than to her husband. She kissed Carla's forehead. "He's just a sour old neat freak, right, honey?"

"Ah!" Carla gasped.

"That's right," Mikasa giggled. "Time to greet your guests, now. Don't get too excited, okay? Okay!"

Armin arrived next, as the others were watching Carla entertain herself with walker. He started when he heard voices other than Mikasa's, to the point where he almost fell back out of the house.

Erwin, Levi, and Hange all came in Hange's old truck, declaring themselves the godparents. The oldest of them almost fell over trying to play with Carla, his face crumpling when she took one look at him and began to wail. Hange consoled her by tossing her in the air, which only made Erwin more upset.

Levi made squinty eyes at almost everything, but commented on nothing, to Eren's joy. Also to Eren's joy, the former of the two did not opt to whap him upside the head or even knee him in the crotch that evening. (Alright, even Eren had to admit that was an exaggeration of Levi's behaviors. In the time that he'd known him, Levi had only hit Eren once, and that was because he'd drank too much and had been acting stupid. But the fear. The fear had lasted years.)

Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner arrived an hour or so later, and Connie stumbled in nearly an hour after them, throwing his arms around Sasha like he hadn't seen her in years.

"Oh my god, when I left I thought you'd woken already," Sasha whispered to him. "Where the hell were you?"

"I went shopping," Connie answered, a little less quietly.

"Shopping?" Sasha repeated incredulously.

"Grocery shopping," he elaborated. "Now hush, Sash."

"You hush," she muttered back.

"Okay!" Eren exclaimed, clapping his hands together. Everyone turned to him. "Did anyone bring cake? Because you all kind of showed up uninvited, so we don't have cake."

"…I brought cake," Armin said with confused caution. "And I brought cake because you told me to. Before anyone else had decided to show up. Remember?"

"Alright, does anyone have a bigger cake?" Eren asked.

Hange raised her hand excitedly. "I brought cake! I made it myself, actually!"

Eren gave her a quick glance, and then turned back to the other guests. "Does anyone else have cake?"

"Hey, Jaeger," Levi snapped, "You eat her cake or my foot. Choose wisely."

"He eats your foot, your ass eats our front lawn," Mikasa muttered heatedly. Levi gave her an exasperated expression, twisting up his mouth.

"Erwin, how's Hange's baking?" Sasha asked.

He shrugged. "It's alright, I suppose."

Levi gave him a pointed glare. He rolled his eyes.

"I mean, it's very nice," he amended flatly. "She could open a bakery, if she wanted to."

Hange smiled up at him. "That's sweet, Erwin. And it was sweet of you, Levi, to defend my cooking. But honestly, Eren, if you don't want my cake, we won't use my cake."

Eren shrugged. "Not like we have anything better to use. Besides, if Erwin says it's alright, it's alright."

Hange turned away and fist-pumped ecstatically.

Carla began to gnaw on her pant leg.

* * *

That evening, after everyone had left, Mikasa and Eren sat side-by-side on the living room couch, Carla asleep in her playpen.

"She's so beautiful," Eren sighed. He offered a soft grin to his wife, taking her hand. "I'm so excited for her, y'know? I'm so excited to be her dad, Miks. I want her to know how much I love her."

Mikasa leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "I think she has a pretty good idea right now."

"You think so?"

"I think so."

"Then it's time."

Mikasa's brow furrowed. "Time for what?"

Eren's soft grin turned into a mischievous one. His eyes glinted. He took Mikasa's hand again, pulling her upward.

"Eren, what are you doing?"

"We're going upstairs."

"For what?"

He kissed her suddenly and roughly, tangling his fingers in her hair. Her neck began to feel hot.

" _Oh_ ," she said.


	7. Kids Of War And Salt

**Title:** Kids of War And Salt

 **Syn:** Eren Jaeger is the newbie son of Ares, and a fine piece of War God ass. Mikasa Ackerman is the experienced daughter of Athena, and she does not want to admit that this fine piece of War God ass is, indeed, fine. Some dirty tricks in a crazy game of Capture The Flag may change that. (Percy Jackson AU)

* * *

" **He's kinda hot, isn't he?"**

Sasha Braus, daughter of Demeter, played with the bitten apple in her hand, drying it and making it juicier at will. Mikasa Ackerman, daughter of Athena, looked up from the ant bites on her calf.

"Who?" she asked.

Sasha took a bite of her apple, wiping her messy mouth with her forearm before pointing towards the Ares cabin. "New guy over there. The one who got claimed last night."

Mikasa squinted against the sun. "Eren Jaeger?"

"Yeah, him. I'd tap it." The apple dried out again. Sasha set it down into the grass, where it decomposed immediately.

"Hmm," her companion replied, glancing at the boy. Her gaze soon flicked to the strawberry fields.

"'Hmm'?" Sasha repeated. "What's that supposed to mean? The kid's a hunk of fine ass, in my humble opinion."

"Cheating on me, Sash?" Connie Springer, son of Hermes, took a seat next to Sasha. "And with that loser? The guy can't even win a fight against Annie."

"That's unfair," Sasha said. "Mortal or not, Annie could probably beat the shit out of Zeus himself."

"True, true," Connie agreed.

"Don't talk about Zeus like that," Mikasa muttered. "You know he's listening."

"Bullshit," came another voice. The three looked up as Jean Kirschtein, son of Zeus himself, plopped down into the grass beside them. "That old man doesn't even listen when you're talking straight to his face. All that 'the gods are watching' shit may be true with some gods, like Dionysus and Hera, but it sure as shit doesn't apply to Thunderbolt up there. Anyway, what're we looking at here?"

"Eren Jaeger's fine ass," Sasha answered.

Jean snorted. "If you count being a fuckup in every possible way as 'fine', then sure, pothead. Can't believe you guys thought he was my brother."

"You're both hella angry," Connie reminded him.

"And mean-looking," Sasha added.

"And he's stubborn, like your dad," Mikasa said.

Jean scoffed. "What, do you know him? Did you guys start dating or something?"

Mikasa rolled her eyes. "He got here, like, a week ago. Please. I've just seen him get into a ton of arguments with Erwin."

"You'd make a hot couple," Sasha said, smirking.

Mikasa stood. "Thanks, but no thanks."

"Where you going?" Connie asked.

"Back to my cabin. Armin needed some help with designing our strategy for the capture the flag tonight."

"Have fun trying to outwit me, Niece," Jean laughed.

"We're driving your ass into the ground, thunderhead," Mikasa returned.

"Is that a fact?"

"Damn straight it is."

* * *

Armin Arlert, son of Athena, was not where his sister thought he'd be.

Mikasa knew for a fact that Armin was terrified by the Ares kids. The grotesque boar's head above their door, their loud, chaotic music blasting all hours of the day, how they picked fights with anyone and everyone- she knew how it unsettled him, and she knew that, since he'd arrived at Camp Half-Blood, he'd been afraid of falling victim to one of their brutal attacks.

This is why, when she was told Armin had gone to the Ares cabin when he was supposed to be sitting at his desk waiting for her, Mikasa assumed the worst, grabbed her dagger, and marched toward that nasty boar's head, a bone-chilling glint in her eye.

Dozens of kids knowingly scrambled out of her path, from the tiny newbies to the muscular, shaven-headed old-timers.

"Where's my brother?" Mikasa asked sharply, dagger in hand.

"Th-the new kid's got him…." someone answered shakily.

"Jaeger?"

"Y-yeah."

"Where is he?" The dagger rose.

"The arena. Please don't hurt me."

Mikasa raised an eyebrow. "You guys on our side tonight?"

"Yeah," the cabin answered, fear in their voices. Mikasa sheathed her dagger, the storm in her eyes calming at last.

"Then you're safe for now. Get rest and nutrition. If we lose, it's on your asses."

"Yes, ma'am," they chorused.

Mikasa nodded and marched out, wondering how stupid this new kid was to try and pull shit like this. If Armin had a single scratch on him, she swore to the gods, Eren Jaeger would not be able to play that night. At least his siblings had had enough sense to tell her where he'd gone.

The arena. She gritted her teeth. Probably beating the shit out of him, then.

He'd get his share soon enough.

* * *

Once again, campers dutifully got their asses out of there once they caught sight of the legendary Mikasa Ackerman and her paralyzing death glare (and her sharp, sharp dagger).

She scanned the arena, stopping once she caught sight of Armin's unmistakable blond halo. He was lying on the ground. Eren Jaeger stood above him, the tip of his sword pressed against Armin's chest.

Without a thought, Mikasa jumped the bastard, pressing the edge of her dagger against his throat as he fell to the floor.

"What the fuck?!" he sputtered.

"Keep your grungy war claws off my brother," she snarled in reply. "If I ever see a scene like that again, your ass is going to be mounted on the side of my bunk. Got it, Jaeger?"

"Mikasa, wait, wait!" Armin objected, standing. "He was just training me. I wasn't in any danger, I promise."

She paused. Looked at Eren Jaeger.

"It's true."

He said that with eyebrows raised, still bewildered.

"You've only been here a week," was all she could think to say.

He rolled his eyes. "I've been training in martial arts since I was five, dude."

Reluctantly, Mikasa removed her dagger from his throat and stood, offering him a hand.

"I thought Ares kids scared you, Armin," she said as Eren grunted, pulling himself up.

He shrugged. "I met him before he was claimed."

"What a lucky thing you did," Eren said, grinning. "For your first time, you're doing pretty okay, my friend. You'll need to do some outside training, to get stronger and whatever, but you've got the technique down."

Armin grinned right back. "Thanks for doing this, Eren," he said. "And by the way, this is Mikasa. She's an Athena kid, too."

Eren squinted, rubbing his chin. "Would've pegged you as an Artemis girl."

Mikasa made a face. "Lady Artemis can't have kids," she reminded him.

Eren's ears turned pink. "Oh, yeah. But you're just so, like, strong. I guess."

"Well, Athena _is_ a war goddess, but thanks for noticing anyway," she replied, sheathing her dagger once again. "That should work in your favor, seeing as I'm your captain tonight."

Eren blinked. "….Captain?"

"For capture the flag," Armin clarified. "Has no one told you?"

His face lit up. "Oh, I know capture the flag. But we're playing it tonight? Why did no one tell me?"

"They were probably going to prank you," Mikasa answered. "They do it with all of their newbies. Leave them alone in the cabin, and then 'kidnap' them, taking them to the arena in the middle of the night to fight the leaders. They get their ass kicked. Their siblings laugh. Then they're officially a member of their cabin."

Eren placed an astonished hand on his chest. "Well, then…..damn. Thanks for the warning, I guess."

"Don't mention it."

Armin sighed. "But if they all go back to get Eren….no, wait. They'll split up. Still, that's a heavy loss for our team. Who else do we have so far?"

"Apollo, Dionysus, Nemesis, Poseidon, and Hades."

"Ugh," he muttered, frowning. "We couldn't get Demeter? Or Hermes? Nyx?"

"Nope. Everyone's siding with Jean and Reiner."

"Well, we at least have Poseidon, Nemesis, and Hades. Not that I believe Bertholdt's going to show off anytime soon, but Isabel, at least, will. And we could use some power over the creek. Besides that, since we've got Levi, we should….oh. Oh, hold on. Armin's getting an idea."

Mikasa couldn't help but snort. "Mind sharing with your captain?"

"Sure…..let's go to the cabin, first. And Eren?"

Eren blinked, completely lost. "Um, yeah?" he replied.

Armin raised an eyebrow. "How good of an actor are you?"

* * *

Eren shifted nervously, his wrists aching and itching against the rope and the bark both. Damn, why'd he have to be so _heavy?_

And Hades, his siblings were loud. And annoying. Eren was beginning to hope Ares had made a mistake, and he was Zeus's kid after all. There were only, like, five kids in that whole cabin. Meanwhile, Ares apparently couldn't keep his War Rod in his pants.

And all of these kids he'd produced were pissed that Eren's new friends had foiled their plans.

"You're a snitch," one of them growled.

"A bitch," someone else added, elbowing Eren in the side. He winced.

"We should leave you here for the demons."

Everyone shouted in agreement.

"Don't you guys want to win?" Eren asked. "Like, if you leave me, the plan goes to shit."

Someone slapped him upside the head. "Fuck you. Hiding behind Athena kids like a bitch. Can't believe you're an Ares kid."

"Honestly."

Eren exhaled in relief. That meant they knew he was right. He would be okay.

Footsteps sounded in the distance. Eren's siblings grew much, much louder. Spearheads and swords and clubs prodded and smacked him all over.

"Over there!" someone yelled. Eren's shoe was torn from his foot.

"Fight us, kid!" his siblings shouted. "You coward!"

There was rustling ahead. The footsteps stopped. The blue team stared the Ares cabin in the eye.

The Ares kids raised their weapons, ready to fight. Eren tried his best to bite back a smirk, instead opting to look terrified and pathetic.

"Tormenting your own brother?" Ymir, daughter of Hermes, asked, squinting against the dark at Eren. "During the game?"

 _That's right,_ Eren thought. _Take your time. Strike up a conversation. You're practically handing us the flag._

"No," answered one of his siblings.

Eren stiffened. _Wait, what?_

"Honestly, we were trying to draw you guys over here so your forces would be weakened back at your flag," he continued. "The Hades, Athena, and Poseidon cabins are all on their way right now."

"What are you doing?!" Eren exclaimed. "You're giving the entire plan away!"

"Is that so?" Ymir asked, smirking. "Why tell us, though?"

The boy grinned. "We're switching over. Ackerman disrupted our initiation ceremony. It's payback time."

"Krista and Connie, run back and tell Reiner," Ymir said. "Glad to have you aboard. You gonna let the newbie down now?"

Eren prayed to Zeus, squeezing his eyes tight.

 _Make them say yes, Zeus, show up and make them say yes, Zeus, they told me demons live out here, Zeus, please_

"No way. The runt's still gotta pass initiation."

Eren squirmed furiously against the ropes holding him to the branch. "Oh, come on! This is some bullshit!"

"Don't be so upset, Eren," Ymir grinned. "You should be fine, so long as none of the venomous ones find you."

"The- the what?"

The entire crowd, traitors and enemies alike, laughed as Eren went pale. Then they left, save for a few who lingered behind to cut up their newest brother, smacking him with their club like a pinata and stealing his other shoe, slashing at his calf.

"I'd say the monsters are gonna smell you and come over," one of them said, "but you smell like ass, so I wouldn't worry."

He and the others chortled and followed after their team. Eren struggled against the ropes again, but _damn_ , those kids could tie a knot.

Also, everything hurt.

* * *

Eren waited for a long, long time. His cuts stopped bleeding, clotting up and scabbing over. He began to shake uncontrollably, the night's chill soaking into his bones. He was sure his hands would detach from his wrists any second now.

And then, when he was sure he couldn't be any more miserable, he heard hissing.

 _Loud_ hissing.

Something extremely thick and smooth curled around his ankle. He yelped and yanked his leg away, his wrists burning with the movement. The thing found his leg again, sliding upward now, this time even quicker.

" _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, ohhh sHIT_!" he sang, his stomach lurching. How was this okay? How was this a game of capture the flag? How the fuck did anyone expect him to survive this?

The thing stopped moving. A brief moment passed where Eren wondered what it was doing, but it was soon interrupted by the sensation of two hot, sharp daggers digging into his thigh. He screamed.

"Eren!" someone shouted in the distance. Leaves rustled. Branches snapped. Someone was breathing heavily.

Armin burst from the bushes, panting, his entire face bright red. He stiffened at the sight of the monster on Eren's leg, and then rushed to remove it.

"Oh my gods, Armin," Eren gasped, crying, "ohhh fuck this hurts so fucking much, oh my gods, I'm dead."

"Hold….still," Armin panted, gripping the thing's head. The was a sickening _crack._ The monster turned to sand.

"Py…thon…he's….grouchy….hungry…..not venomous…you're fine…..except the blood….I'll help you down."

And he did. Eren's wrists began to swell, his hands all pins and needles. "Where's Mikasa?" he asked.

"I'll…find her….you…use your shirt…..stop the bleeding….be back…." Armin managed.

As he jogged away, his entire body sagging and sweating, Eren did as he was told and removed his shirt, tying it tightly around his thigh.

 _Now what?_ he asked himself. Staying in the forest didn't seem all that safe, anymore. He had no weapons; he couldn't just go back into the game. And Armin was already looking for Mikasa.

Just as he took a seat in the crook of the nearest tree, he heard more rustling and snapping.

He looked up. It was Mikasa.

"Mikasa!" he shouted. "There you are. Armin left a minute ago to look for you. Is everything okay?"

She squinted at him. "Damn," she muttered. "Sasha was right. You're a fine piece of ass, Eren Jaeger."

His face heated. "Uh- what?"

Mikasa smiled. "You know," she said in a lilting voice, "I know this is all a hallucination, right? Must mean I really would tap that, then. But this is not bad at all, actually. Thanks to Dionysus and his merry, generous children." She blew a kiss to the sky. "I could've had night terrors, but they gave me you, shirtless. I thank them."

Eren frowned, bewildered. "Are you…..drunk? High? Low blood sugar?"

Mikasa didn't answer, instead reaching up to twirl a strand of his hair around her finger. "You sure you're not Aphrodite's kid?" she asked him.

Eren stepped back. "You said thanks to Dionysus. Who is he, again? The…..the….wine god! Drunkenness, madness. That shit. Look, Mikasa, you're not hallucinating, you're drunk."

She laughed and, to Eren's utter shock, leaned in and kissed him, grabbing his jaw and tangling her fingers in his hair.

"I'm not drunk, soldier boy," she giggled. "I'm definitely hallucinating. I mean, I saw Armin _running._ He does not run. He just doesn't."

Eren was speechless. Carefully, he removed her hands from his head, stepping back.

"Oh, what, you didn't like it?" Mikasa asked, seeming genuinely hurt. "I tried my best, I did, but I-"

Out of pity, or maybe attraction, or guilt, or some sick combination of the three, Eren kissed her again. She grinned.

"I liked it," he told her, and he was a little surprised by the honesty in his words. "But right now, we need to find Armin. Can you run?"

"Bitch, I came out of Athena's head runnin'. I was like, _nyooooooommm._ She was like, 'Damn! Das my girl!'"

"I'm going to go with no, then," Eren sighed. He scooped her up, holding her bridal-style. Then, shoeless and bleeding, he tried his best to run towards the creek, Mikasa heavy and giggling in his arms.

"You're a prince," she chuckled, stroking his face. Eren tried his best not to laugh, mostly because he was running and needed all the air he could get, but also because he knew how embarrassed she would be when she snapped out of it.

As he neared the creek (or as least he thought was near it), the conch was sounded. Eren groaned and headed towards it.

Mikasa stiffened. "That was the Minotaur, Eren. Oh my gods."

"The Minotaur makes horn sounds?" Eren asked, incredulous.

"Yeah…..oh my gods, I'm tired, Eren. Can I go to sleep?"

"Sure thing."

"Can I get a good-night kiss?"

"Do you really like me all that much?"

Mikasa burst into laughter.

"You're just so nice," she sighed once she was done. "And pretty. And you're a good kisser."

"Thanks."

"No problem-o, Eren-o!"

She laughed again, loudly, because she was so sure she was hilarious.

And it just added to his exhaustion.

When Eren finally met up with the other campers, he gently set Mikasa down, and then collapsed. Marco, son of Apollo, assured everyone he wasn't dead, and then continued to carry him away.

* * *

Ambrosia and nectar were delicious, Eren found the next morning. Too bad an overdose was deadly.

As soon as he'd been given the clear to leave the infirmary, he made a beeline for the Athena cabin, not even stopping by his own place first (he didn't want to see the other Ares kids' ugly faces, anyway).

Armin lay on a bottom bunk, staring upward, a glazed look in his eyes.

"…..Armin?" Eren said.

"I'm never running again," Armin whispered. "Eren, I can't move. I can't move my body, Eren. I might as well be dead."

"Do you want me to call Erwin over here, or…..?"

"No, no," he sighed. "Ambrosia and nectar really will kill me. And I can't let Erwin see me like this. He thinks I'm a talented camper. And he's a _centaur_ , and centaurs are so magical, Eren. I can't let a centaur, let alone Erwin, see me so pathetic and sore. Also, Mikasa's up there. If you see Annie, the Oracle girl, tell her our day is canceled. She can come over here, by the way. She knows I'm a dandelion."

Eren snorted and patted Armin's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll live," he assured him, climbing up to Mikasa's bunk.

He took a seat next to the ladder. Mikasa was awake, as well, also staring upward with a glazed look in her eyes.

After a moment, she frowned. "Did we-"

"You kissed me, then I kissed you," Eren told her.

"What did I say to you?"

Her face was turning red, her palms becoming clammy.

"You just talked about how good-looking I was, and how you'd tap that. Nothing really weird."

"Oh, my gods. Dearest mother Athena," she exhaled, covering her face with a pillow. "I'm really sorry. The Dionysus kids put a spell on me, and I- ugh. Sorry about that."

"No, it's fine. I did enjoy it, if it helps any."

"Yucky," Armin muttered from below them.

"You stay out of my business, child," Mikasa said. "And thanks. It does help a little, I think."

The room became quiet. Eren glanced awkwardly at his wrists. Mikasa's mind ran, hoping to find something to end the gods-awful silence before it became too uncomfortable.

Armin snickered, finally breaking it.

"I ship you two," he said.

"I hope you end up in the Feilds Of Punishment," Mikasa replied flatly.

"Only if you join me, dear sister of mine."

Eren grinned. "We were the shittiest team to ever live," he realized. "Did you guys even get close to the flag?"

"I actually had it," Mikasa said. "Hence the spell. Jean's team fights dirty. And we don't suck, we just miscalculated. I didn't think your brothers and sisters would be so…salty."

"Runs in the family, I guess," Eren replied. "I, too, am hella salty."

"Oh, I'm sure Mikasa has a solid idea of what you taste like," Armin smirked.

"Oh my gods _,_ Armin."

" _Skase prin ginoume kolo!"*_ Mikasa snapped.

Armin simply laughed. Eren hopped down from Mikasa's bed and flicked him on the nose.

"You're a little shit, you know that?"

"I'm a beloved son of Athena," Armin corrected him, "And I am as brilliant as I am hilarious."

"No you're not," said a girl's voice by the door. By the time Eren looked, she was already gone.

" _Fila mou to kolo,_ Annie!"** Armin shouted after her.

"Feeling bold today," Mikasa noted.

"I am so humiliated by our loss and the failure of my plan and my current immobility that I have lost the ability to care, Mikasa," he said in response. "There are these things, Mikasa, these creatures, called fucks. And they are mine. And I do not give them."

* * *

 **A/N: That's it. We're done, here. No more. This took me so fucking long to write, and it's such shit, but you know what? There. The rest is up to your imagination. Did Eren rendezvous with Mikasa later for a makeout session? Did they end up fucking in the strawberry fields that night? Or did they forget the entire thing and slowly but surely grow to love each other and end up going out and being a new power couple? YOU DECIDE!**

 **Also, though I headcanon that Armin rarely curses, and barely ever drops the F-bomb, I believe that in a PJO AU he'd have dealt w so much bullshit in his life that he wouldn't care anymore.**

 **Same with Mikasa, who is rather conservative by nature.**

* * *

 **Translations:**

* "Shut up before I beat the shit out of you!"

**"Kiss my ass, Annie!"

*** _Keikaku_ means plan


	8. Happiness And Its Missing Letters

**Title:** Happiness and Its Missing Letters

 **Syn:** A series of notes, texts, and words passed between an awful speller and a lonely girl.

* * *

 **Once upon a time,** in crayola markers on brown construction paper:

 _Deer Mikasa_

 _i luv you and you are pretty and nice 2 me and i like holdign youre hand, pleeze mary me._

 _luv Eren_

* * *

 _Dear Eren,_

 _You need to fix your spelling. I love you too. Love, Mikasa._

* * *

 _Duz this meen you wont mary me_

 _luv Eren_

* * *

 _I will think about it. Love, Mikasa._

* * *

Once upon a time, in very sharp pencil on a doodled page:

 _Hey Mikasa,_

 _what is the ansor to number 4?_

* * *

 _Eren, this is an english assignment._

* * *

 _but I do not know the ansor._

* * *

 _You're supposed to make it up yourself, dummy._

* * *

 _what?! than how does the teacher know what is rite?_

* * *

 _I wouldn't be concerned about content so much as spelling and grammar, if I were you._

* * *

 _your so mean._

* * *

 _Learn to spell._

* * *

Once upon a time, in dull pencil on a scrap of notebook paper:

 _Mikasa, have you been ok?_

 _-Eren_

 _I'm fine. Thanks, though._

 _No, something's wrong. What is it?_

 _Nothing's wrong. What makes you think so?_

 _I mean, you just look...sad. A lot. Anything I can help with?_

 _I'm fine, Eren. Thank you._

 _Okay. Sorry for intarrupting you._

… _.It's fine. You should focus on your work._

* * *

Once upon a time, on the blinding screen of a laptop:

 **Eren:** Hey.

 **Eren:** Whats up?

 _ **seen by Mikasa.**_

* * *

Once upon a time, in the small space of a cell phone screen:

 **Eren:** You doing alright? I feel like we never talk anymore.

 _ **seen by Mikasa.**_

* * *

Once upon a time, somewhere on his own screen:

 **Eren:** where are you right now? your cousin just called me and he's worried sick.

 **Eren:** Mikasa?

 **Eren:** look I get that we're not really friends anymore, but this is serious. if your reading this, please answer me. your cousin is freaking out, and honestly I am too.

 **Eren:** Mikasa, I am so serious. your cousins about to call the cops.

 **Eren:** oh my god.

* * *

Once upon a time, on her own screen:

 _ **seen by Mikasa.**_

* * *

Once upon a time, through the open window:

"Mikasa?"

"...what are you doing here?"

"Making sure you didn't get yourself killed, you dumbass."

"Stop prying into my life."

"I'll stop when I know you're happy."

"Funny thing: no one's ever happy. So give it up."

"I was happy. Once."

"What, when we were little? We didn't _know_ anything, Eren."

"I knew I was happy."

"Go home."

"I was happy because I had you."

"...that's bullshit."

"No, it's not. It's true."

"I'm too tired for this. Take your grade school fantasies somewhere else, Eren."

"You can't keep pretending like we weren't friends."

"I'm not. We were, and it was great. But now, we're not. So good-bye."

"...Fine. Good-bye."

* * *

Later, on her screen:

 **Eren:** Just don't do anything else stupid.

 **Mikasa:** I didn't plan to.

 _ **seen by Eren.**_

* * *

Later, on his screen:

 **Mikasa:**...can we talk?

 _ **seen by Eren.**_

 _ **Call started.**_

* * *

And through the phone:

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"I've been….awful. To you, especially."

"I don't care about that. I just want to know _what happened_ , Mikasa. I want to help you."

"And I've been stupid, to push you away."

"You weren't being stupid-"

"Because you're the only person who's cared enough to ask me anything."

"...is it about your parents?"

"It's a long story."

"I've got all the time in the world. Lay it on me."

"Alright…."

* * *

And on the screen of a laptop:

 **Mikasa:** Hey.

 **Eren:** whats up?

 **Mikasa:** Thank you for listening, last night.

 **Eren:** of course. I'm always here, Miks.

 **Mikasa:** Do you want to maybe do something later today?

 **Eren:** yeah, I'm free. Id love to cach up.

 **Mikasa:**...cach?

 **Eren:** …...thats not right, is it?

 **Mikasa:** ….some things never change, I guess.

* * *

And in blue ink, on a cheap napkin:

 _Sorry, had to pee. Same time next week? Check yes or no._

 _-Eren_

* * *

And in black ink, on another napkin:

 _I paid the check this time. Same time next week, as always._

 _-Mikasa_

* * *

And in red ink, on a sticky note on her car window:

 _Flip me over for a fun fact._

And on the other side:

 _I love you._

 _-Eren_

* * *

And, written in black marker on a crisp, white index card, it read,

 _Mary me?_

 _Luv, Mikasa._

* * *

And, through tears, he said,

"Yes. Oh my god, yes."

* * *

Once upon a time, before the tree they raced around as children:

"Dear, Mikasa,

I love you. You're beautiful, all around, glowing like a goddamn angel 24/7, even when the world tries to throw you under. You're everything good, everything worth living for in this world, and I have never known what I was supposed to do without you. You are- pretty. And nice, and I like holding your hand. I promise to make you as happy as you've always made me. God as my witness. Love, Eren."

"Dear Eren,

Thank you for showing me so much. Thank you for always being there, even when I pushed you away. Thank you for giving me a home, a heart, and something- _someone_ \- to live for. I promise to be for you what you've been for me, to help you find the happiness you've brought me, and most importantly, I promise to fucking teach you to spell. God as my witness. Love, Mikasa."

* * *

And, more or less, the two lived hapily ever after. 

* * *

**AN: Beep boop. Thought I might as well post my entries this time around here, too.**


End file.
